(no subject)

[science_of_control]

Who: Bruce Banner & Pepper Potts
Where: Stark Tower
Summary: Bruce has frustrated Tony to no end and he finally gets a restful nap... unfortunately he's too skittish for it to stay restful.
Warnings: None?

He'd been in Turkey when he got the call from Tony. Of course Tony didn't care about time differences so his post-lunch call had come at 2 in the morning for Bruce. But he'd gathered his things, left medicines and instructions for the people he'd been treating, and been on a train by dawn. One train followed by another and another. Layovers were frequent but it was better than flying. Days of hard travel and he'd barely slept, worried about what a nightmare might do when he was on a train with so many other people. It wasn't safe. So it had been nothing but catnaps all the way to Lisbon.

The flight from Lisbon to New York had been 8 hours of high stress on top of all of it. He was haggard and exhausted by the time he got there. But he'd gone straight to the tower, straight to Tony as requested. The strange friendship between them and the driving curiosity for the other man's science the only thing keeping him going. Only to be shoved into a chair while Tony regaled him with "no this is a really great story, you'll love it".

Apparently when the tale began a second time Bruce had started snoring at some point. The fact that he was comfortable enough with the man to let himself sleep next to him should have said something, been flattering in some way. It implied a level of trust that Bruce had not shown to another person in more years than he cared to count. Tony, unsurprisingly, didn't see that. He was annoyed and childish when he felt ignored or neglected which this was certainly a case of. So he left Bruce to nap in that chair, a nap that would undoubtedly leave him with a kink in his neck and a number of aches in his body. That he would also wake with gold glittery nail polish (stolen from Happy's office who had confiscated it from one of the secretaries on account of the fumes) well... that wasn't terribly surprising either.

Comments

[pepperspray]

"Debatable," Pepper answers, an echo of Tony's answer amidst the flames that brings a private twitch of her lips with it before she settles back on the couch with a sigh and a sidelong study of his polish removal efforts. "And no, I generally at least let them get a good night's rest and a meal first before the makeover attempts happen. You're doing well, jet lag aside?" she asks, the question one part automatic concern for others needs to one part edging around the very large pile of questions she has that she can't quite frame.

[science_of_control]

His nail polish removal efforts were rather efficient, thank you Pepper. He did spend his teenage years with his female cousin, after all, and there may have been a phase in that time frame that found him taking permanent markers to his nails on occasion. Let's not talk about that.

"He wouldn't have had a reason for the makeover if he had let me nap first." Bruce mutters, a little annoyed but he really wouldn't have expected any less from Tony. He should just be grateful the idiot hadn't drawn on his face with a marker. "But, yeah, aside from the trip I'm... good... mostly." As good as he can be when people all over the world are now fans of his other half. Which still weirds him out. It's made traveling as an American a little bit harder, if only because everyone wants to ask him about New York. Because obviously being American meant he had to have been there. At least he could honestly tell those people that he's from Ohio.

[pepperspray]

The unspoken past of a goth-phase Bruce Banner can just go sit beside the unmentioned youth of Virginia Potts that features flower print prairie dresses and an impressive set of braces. (Their respective pasts probably wouldn't actually have sat together outside of surreptitiously, in the library.)

In the present, Pepper gives him a half smile and reflects that "Good, mostly seems to be a popular state of being around here. You should fit right in."

Back in Stark Tower, back in New York, and all the explosive fanfare of the Clean Slate Protocol and personal growth via stray snarky children and a really impressive Home Depot entry on his personal credit card can't magically undo PTSD. Sleep isn't something that comes easily to Tony or Pepper, but that they can at least be honest about it is something. Good, mostly is what greets them every morning in the mirror. "How long can you stay for?" Pepper wonders, emerging from the reverie she'd lost herself in. "Or how long do you feel you can? Real answer," she requests, no nonsense mingled with self-aware humour. "Not trying to deflect Tony."

[science_of_control]

He rolls his eyes a little, giving her a look that clearly said he didn't agree. When had he really fit in anywhere? He doesn't voice his argument though, simply returns to scrubbing at his hails and mental cursing Tony for using a glittery variety which is, of course, that much harder to take off.

A large part of Bruce's napping stemmed from Tony's ability to be offensive without even trying to. Anyone that can begin a tale to him of all people about creating their own demons is either an idiot... or has more ego than active functioning grey matter. The jury was still out on which Tony was but Bruce was pretty sure it was a little of both. Either way his options had been to let Tony's voice become background noise, do a little meditative breathing exercises and let his sleep deprivation catch up with him... or end up snapping at Tony, starting an argument and leaving right away again.

The latter outcome wouldn't have done anyone any good. But Bruce really didn't have it in him to offer much in the way of sympathy to most anyone else for their sleepless nights of PTSD fueled nightmares. He had more than enough of those himself. Good, mostly. was the polite answer. Good, mostly had been back in Kolkata. Before aliens, before gods, but mostly before knowing SHIELD had been following him all along. Before knowing that all of his efforts and security measures, every ounce of paranoia that had been so much of his life... and it was all useless.

"I would say I should get out of here before certain interested parties know I'm back but..." He shrugs awkwardly. They both know SHIELD probably knew he was coming back to New York before he'd bought his first train ticket. "A few days shouldn't hurt... a week or two at most." He really didn't like being in the city.

[pepperspray]

"I'm used to working with abbreviated timeframes," Pepper assures, looking up from where she's just caught herself worrying at her right thumb's cuticle with the left's nail. "And I appreciate you coming in for more than just the physiological oversight. I--"

She stops, lips pursing as she shapes the words of an admission of weakness, unfamiliar and rarely allowed outside closed doors. Bruce may have had Tony self appoint himself as a BFF, right down to juvenile pranks that would have prompted a response in kind from Rhodey in the right mood, but Pepper barely knew Dr. Banner beyond a brief meeting, a more informative classified file she totally didn't just read anyway, and the glowing praise of one Anthony Edward Stark. Admitting weakness was blood in the water in her world, with her gender, and even having Tony to open up to didn't help, given that it usually evoked a desperate need to fix everything. And yet here was Dr. Bruce Banner, alias the Hulk. And here was Pepper Potts, part time walking incendiary as Tony held back on injecting his fix until he was sure it would work. (Untested experimentation was good for the gander, but apparently made him go twitchy at the thought of applying it to the goose. Given the risk of fatality, it was... fair.)

"I," she tries again. "It's all about emotional regulation as much as the physical, apparently. My favourite coping mechanism of just dealing until I explode would be pretty literal. I never managed to keep a therapist long enough to learn other ones, which I'm sure surprises you."

[science_of_control]

"Oh..." There's an awkward moment where he's really not sure what to do with that information but he's pretty damn sure that's a lot more to deal with than he signed up for. He just wanted to look at Tony's science. Even if the biological sciences weren't necessarily the other man's strongest skill he was plenty capable. He didn't need Bruce to look things over or tell him how to do anything.

Not that it ever hurt to have a second pair of eyes on things but Bruce really, really didn't trust himself to be involved in this kind of science. He'd proven quite well that he could not be trusted to do the responsible thing when it came to the brilliant field of advancing human potential.

He eyed her warily for a moment before finally responding. He couldn't be trusted with the science but he definitely felt like he was out of his depth here too. "Uh... Please tell me you're not fishing for pointers on self control."

[pepperspray]

Pepper chuffed a laugh at that, edged and dark, and gave him a shake of her head in confirmation. "No, no... although I think you sell yourself short, for the record."

She fell silent again, worrying at the cuticle until she caught herself and folded her hands on her lap. "You, as you told the others, are always angry. That that's your secret. You're not always nine feet tall and green, though. Aldrich..." She parted with a sigh and looked up to the middle distance, her tone kept neutral and measured. "I didn't just kill him with some push of a button. I punched straight through the chest piece of one of Tony's suits that was attacking me, then detonated Aldrich by throwing one of its missiles at him and blowing it up. And all I could think to say after was a comment on how violent it was. And I... well, it felt good. Amazing, actually. The anger, and channelling it like that."

[science_of_control]

Hearing it recounted from Pepper was far more informative than hearing it from Tony. Or maybe that was the indeterminate amount of sleep he'd gotten between one telling and the next. She was right. It was violent. But that wasn't really all that surprising. From the sounds of it violence was what was needed to combat the unstoppable force that was Aldrich Killian.

Bruce can't quite look at her for a moment though. Of course she knows everything that Tony does about him, he expects that, but it's hard to hear it relayed back like that. And somehow even harder to hear it from Pepper who is now, suddenly, possibly the only person that truly understands exactly what it is he deals with every day. To have that destructive potential and all of that anger and be unable to let it out... which only fed the anger even more.

"That's the hardest part..." He finally says quietly, leaning forward, elbows braced on his knees, gaze directed down at his hands. Not at his nails or the residual gold shimmer at the edges but at his palms, his fingers as he flexed them slightly as though he expected to see bloodstains where there were none. "There's something... satisfying about the destruction, however horrific it is." He swallows hard and looks up at her briefly, dark eyes haunted. Surely she understands that. Even if the only person she'd directed that super powered fury at had been one man deserving of it while the one person that deserved to be punished for his condition never could be. Because he was... indestructible.

[pepperspray]

"Catharsis," Pepper suggests, tone and expression somewhat detached as she looks out the windows rather than over at Bruce, taking refuge in the mild remove of talking past his left ear rather than directly to him. "In the Classical rather than the Freudian model. The violent purge of emotion before the quiet clarity in its wake."

Sitting no longer suits her, so she rises to her feet with an elegant whisper of shifted cloth and paces her way out and over to the windows rather than staring at them across the open space. "I told Tony that I understood Iron Man," she muses. "But I think that Iron Man doesn't understand Extremis, entirely. Tony understands having a little list of things you want to see burned, that would make the world a better place if you just cleaned them up into sidewalk smears. But Tony... he built that very first suit. It's a part of him, certainly, but it's a part he ultimately chose. Custom-crafted, even. His purgation in destruction has always been tempered by very keen advance intent."